A Therapist's Reflection on Unknown Number: The High School Catfish
Warning: The following post contains discussions of cyberbullying and suicide. Everything in this article is strictly just my own assumptions.
If you haven’t watched the Netflix documentary “The High School Catfish”, I highly recommend watching it before reading this article. I’ve decided to do something a little different with my blog this time. As a therapist, I’m going to give you my raw take on this situation, putting on my therapist hat.
Unknown Number: The High School Catfish is a true crime documentary that takes several twists and turns, exposing an unsettling exploration of trust, betrayal, and lasting trauma unfolding in the most intimate setting, home. I’ll admit, I did not see this coming. Munchausen syndrome is something I don’t often encounter, so it never crossed my mind as a possibility. I’ll talk about this disorder a bit later in the article.
As a mental health professional, this story raises immediate questions about familial manipulation, the resilience of young people, and most importantly, the quiet ways healing can begin. I’ve always said, “Your past is your present,” and if trauma isn’t addressed, it will compromise safety and, in return, can be projected onto the very people who provide comfort and safe space. Unfortunately, in this case, the mother clearly did not receive proper help before this unfolded. (Though that should never excuse her actions.)
Sidenote: I personally believe she orchestrated this from the very beginning. The lack of remorse explains her continued lies.
A Betrayal Few Could Imagine
The last thing anyone wants to discover is betrayal at the hands of their own family. Family is supposed to mean safety and comfort, that’s what we’re taught. But when that sense of security shatters, our mental and physical health often enter a stage of fight, flight, or freeze.
In this case, it explains why Lauryn Licari didn’t react the way people might have expected after learning her own mother was the perpetrator. She was in complete shock.
Most cyberbullying cases come from strangers or peers, but this case defied all expectations. For nearly two years, Lauryn and her boyfriend, Owen McKenny, were bombarded with cruel, manipulative, and sexually explicit messages from an anonymous number. The goal? To sabotage their relationship and destabilize their emotional wellbeing.
The culprit was Lauryn’s own mother.
From my perspective, this was a profound violation. The trust a child has in their caregiver forms the foundation of emotional safety. When that foundation crumbles, the impact is seismic. As I mentioned earlier, this incident caused permanent trauma for Lauryn and everyone involved. Every action, good or bad, carries consequences. And in this case, those consequences were devastating.
Trying to Understand the Motives
The documentary gives glimpses (not excuses) of Kendra Licari’s psychological state. When unresolved trauma resurfaces, it can manifest as destructive behavior. In my opinion, Kendra displayed behaviors aligned with Munchausen Disorder as well as narcissistic tendencies. She showed no remorse for the trauma she inflicted.
Her motive? A distorted version of maternal protectiveness that morphed into harmful, manipulative behaviors.
What Is Munchausen Disorder?
According to the DSM-5:
Factitious Disorder Imposed on Self (formerly known as Munchausen Syndrome) is a mental health condition where an individual falsifies or induces illness or symptoms.
According to me:
It’s a severe mental health condition where a person deliberately creates or exaggerates symptoms of physical or mental illness to gain attention, sympathy, or control. People with this disorder can easily manipulate healthcare providers into validating their false symptoms.
Side note: When providers suspect dishonesty, we use the term malingering.
What Is Narcissistic Personality Disorder?
According to the DSM-5:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is characterized by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.
According to me:
Not everyone who displays narcissistic traits has the full disorder. Narcissism exists on a spectrum. But when someone demonstrates extreme tendencies, they often carry an inflated sense of self-importance and disregard the emotional needs of those around them.
The Emotional Aftermath of Lauryn’s Journey
Despite the severe trauma her mother caused, Lauryn faced this ordeal with maturity, courage, and a willingness to speak out. The problem with Munchausen-like behaviors is that they can masquerade as “caregiving” rather than emotional abuse.
Her resilience is striking. From a therapeutic perspective, this highlights the importance of trust. Once broken, trust does not simply restore itself. In fact, in many cases, trust cannot be fully restored.
Key Takeaways for Therapists and Families
Acknowledge complex grief and ambivalence.
Normalize seeking emotional support.
Educate about cyber safety and mental health.
Recognize early red flags.
Practice digital empathy instead of shaming.
Differentiate between a controlling parent and a safe parent.
Set clear boundaries from the beginning of any relationship.
Therapist’s Orders
A toxic relationship is a toxic relationship. It doesn’t matter if it’s with your mother, father, sibling, best friend, or partner; if it’s harmful, then it’s harmful. Don’t fall for society’s manipulation of phrases like, “Well, she’s your mother.”
Boundaries are not just important, they are essential to mental health, healing, and safety.
