Establishing Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries aren’t ultimatums or punishments-they’re clarity. They’re not about controlling others but about knowing ourselves. And yet, for many people-especially those with anxious attachment or a history of trauma-setting a boundary can feel like setting off a bomb.

Why? Because when you’ve learned that love is earned through self-abandonment, saying “I need this to feel safe” feels risky. Even cruel.

We live in a world where therapy-speak is everywhere, yet understanding how to embody boundaries-especially in the face of fear, guilt, or people-pleasing-is still elusive. In this piece, we unpack the difference between healthy limits and covert control, and why some people simply can’t set boundaries… yet.