Pain Is Only Temporary

That’s right, pain doesn’t last forever.
We’ve all been through moments that felt like they would never end. Whether it's heartbreak, betrayal, or emotional exhaustion, those feelings can seem like they’ll stick around forever. But the truth is, they won’t.

Emotional Pain Feels Permanent, But It’s Not

Are you experiencing a breakup, struggling with a difficult relationship, or healing from betrayal?
It might feel permanent. But it’s not.
Mental and emotional pain isn't made of stone, it just feels like it is.

Pain can be extremely uncomfortable. And if it’s a recurring pain, it can begin to feel hopeless.
For example, going through multiple breakups that all end the same way can leave you feeling helpless, like nothing will ever change. That’s when people are most likely to give up.

Here’s the truth:
Pain comes and goes, but the longer we hold on to it, the longer it stays.

Even AI Would Make Mistakes If It Were Human

Recently, I asked AI (yes, ChatGPT!) what it would do if it were human.
It answered: “I would make mistakes.”

AI feels like it has to be perfect. Just like we expect it to always give the right answers. That kind of pressure? It's no different from what we put on ourselves.

We try to perfect our conversations, our emotions, and our interactions. But the more we chase that perfection, the more disappointed we feel when life doesn’t match up. And that disappointment? That’s where the pain lingers.

You Don’t Need to “Fix” Your Feelings

Let’s talk about our emotions.

I’ve heard so many clients tell me, “I’m feeling so sad… fix me.”
This is incredibly common.

But not all feelings need to be “fixed.”
Sometimes, you have a legitimate reason to feel sad, angry, or overwhelmed.

The real issue? We often put pressure on ourselves to disconnect from emotions because we think it's the “strong” or “right” thing to do.

But I always tell my clients:

The more you run from your feelings, the closer you get to them.

Trying to fix or perfect your emotions can actually prolong the pain.

🧘‍♀️ Try This: A 15-Minute Feel Timer

Set a timer for 15 minutes.
Allow yourself to fully feel whatever emotion is showing up.
Don’t run. Don’t suppress. Just sit with it.

There’s a reason you’re feeling this way.
You’re not broken. You’re not crazy. You’re human.

Breakups, Relationships, and the Fear of Forever Pain

Since I started working as a licensed therapist, one thing has stood out:
We all struggle in relationships.

And one major reason? We’re chasing perfectionism.

We expect every conversation to flow, every moment to feel connected. But that’s not realistic.

Another reason we stay stuck in unhealthy relationships is fear.
Fear of the unknown.
Fear of being alone.
Fear that the pain of breaking up will last forever.

But ask yourself:

How long did it really take to emotionally recover from your last breakup?

Maybe it took weeks, months, even years.
But it didn’t last forever.

We have to remind ourselves that the pain we’re feeling right now is temporary.
It’s uncomfortable, yes. But it’s not your permanent reality.

Side Effects of Staying Where You Hurt

When I recommend medication to clients, I often hear:
“But what are the side effects?”

And my answer is always the same:
“Well… what are the side effects if you don’t take the medication?”

Now ask yourself:

What are the side effects of staying in a relationship that’s hurting you?

If you’ve tried everything and your relationship is still unhealthy, it’s okay to let go.
The faster you release what’s hurting you, the faster the pain will begin to fade.

Your Brain Is a Vacuum, Don’t Let It Suck in Just the Bad

Here’s a metaphor I often share with clients:

Think of your brain like a vacuum cleaner.
You’re vacuuming your carpet, and suddenly, it tries to suck up your phone charger.
You have to stop everything and pull it out before the vacuum stops working.

Our minds do the same thing.

You can do ten positive things in a day, but the moment one bad thing happens, your brain locks onto it, and sucks it right in.

That one bad moment becomes the only thing you focus on.
It clouds everything else.

So, what do you do?

Turn off the vacuum. Pull out the “charger.”
Remove the one bad thought or situation before it burns you out.

Cognitive - Feelings - Behavior

Remember, it’s hard to experience feelings without thoughts. If you create a mindset that you will never find someone to love you or you will never be able to forgive someone, then this pain might last forever. Stop focusing on the feelings and focus on the thoughts!

I wrote another article about Automatic Negative Thoughts in the blog section with a detailed tool on how to stabilize your thoughts.

Therapist Orders: Pain Is Only Temporary

Whatever you're going through, loss, rejection, self-doubt, or heartbreak, remember this:

It’s not going to feel this way forever.
You will breathe easier again.
You will smile again.
You will heal.

Let go of the pressure to be perfect.
Let go of the fear that this is permanent.

Because it’s not.
Pain is only temporary.